Diary with an underlying condition 4
Last night I dreamed I had a small device. I was singing the riff to “Let There Be Rock” and behold, it started playing the song. It was about halfway through when I broke out „Spirit-moves-through-all-things spirit-moves-through-all-things” and it seamlessly interlaced into “Science”. I was quite impressed with this when I woke up, we would need a machine like this, that can smoothly and instantly mix songs together. Then I realized we do have this, it’s called „band”. As in live music.
But the songs were still in my head as I was going through my morning routine. As usual, had to have a sort of talkbox rendering of a song while brushing my teeth. And I was still pondering why did I mix these two particular songs in my dream? Why not any other two songs? I definitely didn’t hear either of them lately. Then I realized. One of them starts with „In the beginning, back in…”, so sort of Genesis feeling and the other chorus is „Science has failed our Mother Earth.” When I say genesis I mean the Book of Genesis, creation of the world and not the band. So the two songs together reveal a great truth: since the dawn of man, science has failed nature. Not bad for a short Sunday night’s sleep.
After four days inside I’m out again, taking the underground to work. Still hardly anyone around. No queuing, no pushing and shoving, each person can have a quarter of a carriage to themselves. Sometimes as much as half. Right now I’m sharing this one with a lady. I’ve been sharing a carriage with her last week too, but we only keep two-thirds occupied and leave a third empty for others. We’re magnanimous.
In the news, I see that mostly everybody grumbles about the lockdown. I’m sure when this is over with and nothing left but a memory there will be people who will reminisce fondly of these months. Space on trains, sleeping in, barely working, jogging on roads, binge-watching. Will disregard 90 percent of what is actually happening, including a deadly disease lurking on every corner and take what they like out of context. We’re funny that way.
‘Remember, honey, that splendid sunset? On the island, the colors, the light show?’
‘You mean that time the volcano erupted and we had to be evacuated in the middle of the night, with all our belongings left behind and spent a week in an arena along with five thousand other people, no sanitation, no intimacy, barely any food?’
‘Yes, the sky was staggering that night.’
I hear it from more and more world leaders that our country is better off than other countries. We test more than them, fewer deaths than the neighbors. It might look that we have more deaths than them but our population is a lot higher so actually we have less so we’re good. We can live with twenty thousand deaths if that is less than the neighbors.
Does this really matter? Is this consoling for anyone? I mean I understand this is as good excuse for the authorities as any, for them results don’t matter, vaccines, tests, deaths are not important, only shifting the blame counts. But for us, the supposed worst state of other countries shouldn’t matter. Let’s not fall for another primitive trick. I only lost my father, whilst you lost both of your parents. And your kid’s sick too. Yay, lucky me, I’m so happy!
Idyllic scene in the grass. A rat gliding effortlessly in the lush grass. Doves munch on something; the sunlight reflects a million shades of blue on their feathers. Then I trot along, the rat is weary so it darts under a bush. This frightens the doves that flit away and I’m worried about touching anything.
A few hundred meters down the road, in the moist shade under some trees a rat rots away. It’s been there for a week now, not even the flies seem to be bothered. Where are the council workers I wonder? The blokes I’ve seen around here many times, sweeping, cleaning? Working from home I assume.
The minority partner in the most legendary songwriting pa
TfL is still fighting against the government. Only health workers should use the tube. Now they make announcements in multiple languages in the stations. First time I heard that. Commendable as that is, a good decision made for the wrong reasons is still wrong.
This morning I wrote quite a long rant about Paul McCartney and his medieval comments.
Now I realized that it’s unnecessarily long. It’s unnecessary. Period. He compared Chinese cuisine to slavery and labeled Chinese markets medieval. A Sir, holed up in a secluded mansion, surrounded by an army of servants, completely disengaged from the world, complaining about medieval remnants? What’s more ironic than that?
‘Nuff said.
I gather from here and there that this virus brings out the best in us. Some call it the very best of British, trying to hijack human nature as British again to further their nazi agenda. It’s so primitive and dangerous when narrow-minded people with a broad audience – or not – are attempting to explain the best and worst in us by generalizing. Laziness, resilience, bravery, arrogance, stupidity, intelligence, hospitality, punctuality, debauchery, all of this is present in humans regardless of birthplace, nationality, color, creed, sex. But I digress. Again. The media is blowing up a few incidents and by doing this it also fuels it as more and more people learn about it and get involved. Fact is charity is not only something you do from the comfort of your living room for the comfort of your soul. Giving money is nice, where does that money end up is another. For example, up until the end of last year, a prominent charity fund had its headquarters in a central location in London, with exorbitantly high rent. There was no need for that and they were blowing a great sum on that.
But let’s assume that the money does go to the right place. Even with a few highly publicized flag bearer occurrences most of the charities are struggling as no fundraiser events can be organized. So all together charity decreased during the pandemic. But fly-tipping is on the rise, so is internet fraud, medicine peddlers cropped up like it’s 1884 again. And domestic violence too. Seems that without the buffer of the workplace, dinners with friends, pub nights, footie games, or shopping trips a significant number of relationships can’t work. I always had a feeling that most relationships only work because there is barely any time spent together.
They say this brings out the best, I say it’s business as usual. More time to watch it though.
And when this is all over those crimes that are on a downward spiral nowadays – theft, knife crime, pub brawls, everything that requires a lot of people out and about – will make up for the lost time. When the masses will escape from the lockdown, after all this time spent indoors, the release promises to be dreadful. And the excuses for the dire economic situation will be the same.
Stay home.
Stay safe.
Leave home.
Leave safety?
Don’t worry, we’ll clap for you from our safe homes.
The UK government is setting up a task force to develop a vaccine. Oh, good, we’re saved now. A task force, oh that’s something serious, now they are really bringing out the big guns. Why didn’t they do it earlier I wonder?
Looks like the supermarkets had no time or interest to adjust to this new market and prepared the same amount of Easter merchandise like every other year. Obviously they didn’t sell most of it, now they are getting rid of them for pennies. Poor chocolate eggs and bunnies are on display everywhere, hundreds of them, looking like poor abandoned animals in a shelter, holding out for a kind new owner.
I couldn’t resist and gave in. Saved more choc souls than on the above picture but alas, one of them didn’t make it to the group picture. It already moved to their permanent home. I’m good that way.
Here’s a short excerpt from a document signed on 4th July 1776. Yeap, that one. I was accused that I’m pessimistic but I always considered myself a cynical realist. It seems those who wrote this felt the same.
“That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.
But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”
It just dawned on me how futile this diary of mine is. What good is it to dissect all this, to try to interpret signs and solve issues when nobody cares anyway? Surely I must have something better to do.
The universal agreement is that nowadays even the mundane is dazzling in our dreams. Or at least our memory of normality.
Leftovers anybody? We’re mostly busy with grim statistics and daily briefings done for ratings but it does come up in the middle pages: the planet is regenerating. Will there be any residue for this pandemic besides always keeping a stash of toilet paper? The First World War, apart from the destruction, suffering, poorly drawn borders and a global pandemic did have a few positive sediments too. Women’s vote, Aussie pride, the ill up kept POW treaty of Geneva. Will we take something away from this too? We know now that hundreds of million people can work from home, so why not keep a portion of these people working from home from time to time? Save a trip to work, less fuel burned, smaller carbon footprint. We should keep at least this.
Had only a short break today. My colleague needed a longer break. He will spend it in the meeting room. On YouTube. He’s watching a live stream of his auntie’s funeral. I guess these days you can say he’s attending.
Boris Johnson’s been out of the hospital for a while now, but he’s still in his summer retreat. Which, by the way, is illegal for everybody else. But never mind that, why is he away for so long? Is there something else wrong with him or is it harder to shake this illness than what the authorities claim? Or was he ousted in a nice old coup and all they need is a carefully worded statement to announce this?
How many kids decide these days that they want to grow up to be heroes and be health care workers? Only to find out a few years down the line that they are actually grossly underpaid, forgotten individuals whenever there isn’t an emergency?
The President of the United States just advised the world to inject disinfectant in people to fight the disease. Thought of drawing a cartoon about this but why bother? In the end, he’s right; administer enough disinfectant to kill the host and the virus dies too. I guess. I’m not a doctor, but I’m, like, a person that has a good you know what (pointing to my head).
Wonder what is he injecting? That would explain some things.
Or is there someone in his staff who is planting these seeds in his head to germinate while he’s on-air? This instigator must be having a right laugh night after night. The most enviable job on the planet.
I will wrap up my diary project this weekend.
It doesn’t matter that I suspect that this pandemic is an elaborate marketing campaign for Microsoft Teams. One to shame Don Draper at his worst. Or that is a publicity campaign to leaders around the globe. Daily briefings briefly increase their ratings. Isn’t it fitting that half of rating is rat?
Nor does it matter that the weasels who made up fake news, concocted campaign fear, appropriated patriotism are slowly adapting to this new environment. It took them by surprise, but they are only humans, aren’t they? But now their battle plans are drawn and the gears are in motion. Hypocrisy is streamlined once again. Gradually ease the lockdown, get the economy running again. Of course, only start back those industries where social distancing and every other precaution can be made. On paper. It doesn’t matter that, at ground level, those written guidelines can’t be followed, they can always deny, apologize, repudiate, whatever is appropriate. And if you can’t defeat the virus at least reduce the airtime it gets. Less news, fewer worries. Hush-hush was always their secret ally.
It’s insignificant that I think that an antidote would be much more important than a vaccine. Even if they find a vaccine in six months, administering that to the population will take twice as long. Who gets it first? That may be easy, but who gets it second? Third, fourth, fifth? With an antidote, the virus will choose. Whoever is sick will get the cure. Still, most of the effort is put into the vaccine, not the antidote. I guess that’s easier.
I’ve been going to work every weekday since the lockdown began. I would love to stay home and create. Not just now during this pandemic, all the time. And it annoys me how those who “work” from home complain how boring is to stay home. To isolate.
I always thought isolation is good. For people like us, isolation is nothing new. The only way to cope with this constantly sick world, bullies and hypocrites, flat-earth advocates, global warming and evolution deniers. Detach yourself from everything you can until you find someone to whom you can attach. Close yourself until you have someone to open up to. Isolate until you find your likeminded friends. People who don’t label you a freak when you aren’t one but who will give you credit for being one if you’re actually a freak.
Isolation is good, especially if you have good people to isolate with. For sure there are billions to isolate from but if you’re lucky you have a few to isolate with. Isolate until the world catches up. We can isolate even in a crowd. Retreat in our cozy cocoon and always upkeep our values.
You can call it whatever you want to, isolation, escapism, independence, freedom. And they can call it whatever they want, anti-social, unfriendly, withdrawn, uptight. We don’t care. I don’t care. I’m just a normal guy. My password isn’t super✰. Never had much, grew up with nothing, apart from music, now where’s my something? Yes, I do mishear lyrics, so what? I interpret them freely. There’s nothing special about me. But I am what I am. I believe what I believe. I love what I love. And I’m tired of explaining, so I isolate in a sea of incomprehension. Because I know there are islands out there.
So keep the faith, salvation is real, it comes from inside. And if you’re ever in any kind of trouble always remember to listen to music. Even if you got in trouble for listening to music in the first place. Music helps, it can isolate and it can connect too. I made a point in keeping this site clean and tidy and well-combed and Disney for three years, but fuck this. Cue music!
Since I can’t compel you to stay as there are laws against it why don’t you do it on your own? Stick around and read more of my short stories. All of them are amazing. Well, most of them are. OK, honestly, some of them are. Why don’t you decide for yourself? Take a look around –> Here’s a map!
Or, if you’re really adventurous, not unlike Jenny, get off the beaten track and read a random story!